I Want It ALL!!!!!

Have you ever wanted something really bad? You can't stop thinking about it. You want to know as much about the details as possible. Yep, that is where I am right now. I have NEVER in my life been so interested in hearing God's voice. I guess that is because I have never been this close to God.

You see, a relationship with God is a two part relationship. It isn't all just what God can do for us. He is God, He can do anything He wants. But, He wants first and foremost a relationship with us that is just more then us asking him for something. Wouldn't you get sick of one of your friends always asking you for something. They never came to you any other time, only when they needed something. In fact, they never even spoke to you half the time unless they needed something from you. Chances are, it would get really old, really fast.

God gave us free will. Why? Because He wanted us to choose to love Him. That is why we were created. He could have put billions of people on this earth that all loved Him and served Him in the ways that He wants us to. But, He didn't. He wants us to CHOOSE to love Him. To CHOOSE to serve Him. Even His only Begotten Son has the choice in the matter. Jesus sits at the right hand of God and waits for His direction. He is Jesus. He could come back to Earth now, but, He has not been given directions from God to do so and so he patiently ways in obedience to the Father.

So, what is it about that love for the Father that has me so captivated. Well, like I said, I have never been in a place like this before. Things that used to be okay with me, such as certain TV shows, are no longer okay with me. I want nothing more for my life then to know what God knows about me, my heart, and what God wills for my life. As Dr. Mike Evans said last time he was at our church, "I want to see what You see. Hear what You hear. So that I can do what You do."

Now, I find myself like the person in the picture above more and more throughout my day. I long for that time of worship. I have come to the point where that time of worship is more and more fulfilling. And, interestingly enough, it is because I am asking for NOTHING. I want nothing more during my time in God's Presence then to just worship Him. I have plenty of reasons to do so. I find myself in tears every single time that I open my mouth to praise Him and thank Him. I now get it. I now understand why I never got in trouble with the law all the times in high school and college that I was at parties and never got caught smoking pot and drinking underage when the cops showed up. His hand of protection made me invisible. All the times that I was with guys (and I am going to get personal) but yet never got raped or had to say that I had "multiple partners" in my life. Again, God's hand of protection kept me from the shame of being promiscuous and from the pain of possibly being raped.

But, actions speak louder then words. And though I know that God loves my words of praise to Him, he is even more interested in me walking out the desires that He has for my life. And, in this process of drawing closer to God and hearing His heartbeat for my life, I now know where he wants me and what He wants me doing.

God is calling me into counseling. I have been working with a Christian Counselor, who has been a major blessing in my life, for some anxiety issues that she has helped me through and now she has become more like a mentor to me. I have already started taking classes to become a certified counselor through the American Assoc. for Christian Counselors (aacc.net) and in a matter of a few weeks after I have sent in all of my tests, I will be certified to work with people in the church. Then, starting in the fall I will be attending Lee University (a Christian college based out of TN) to get my Bachelors in Counseling as well. I know that much for now. I believe that I will probably end up getting my Masters eventually so that I can have the certification of being a Professional Counselor.

Oh, how good it feels to be in Gods will. It is a new place for me and as I keep telling people, I want nothing more then to stay stuck in the Heavens like I feel I have been for about the last month. To be on the same frequency, if you will, as God is something that I guessed I was searching for since my birthing into this world, I just didn't realize it.

I am passionately in love with my Maker!!!! Ah, the peace and joy in the presence of God.